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Joke of the Day

"What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock? Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)"

"JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]"

"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."

"How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute? Go to England and buy something"

"Accidentally picked out soothing paint colors and now my panic room is ruined."

"What's Blue, Orange and Lying at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool? What's blue, orange and lying at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with popped floaties."

"""Why is there sweat on my handbag?"" ""Calm down, it's just a little pursepiration."""

"I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a ""ghost"" and end up as a ""drunk ghost that needs a ride home."""

"What's similar between you mom and a bottle of Tide detergent? They can both take about 65 loads."

"What was the buffalo's last words to his teenager as he sent him off to college? Bison"