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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally picked out soothing paint colors and now my panic room is ruined."

"wife: Why is 9 crying? me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep"

"What do you call four Mexicans in quick sand Quatro'sinco'ses"

"[text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line."

"We need more women in science! said the feminist gender studies student..."

"Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea."

"Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1000 bones in the human body? Larry: Shhh doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!"

"Knock Knock / Who's There? / Benghazi / Benghazi who? I knew you'd forget about me if Trump won."

"How are a punchline and a dick similar? they only bring a smile if used properly."

"Has anyone heard the joke about the magic tractor? it was driving down the road and it turned into a field."