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Joke of the Day
"""Why is there sweat on my handbag?"" ""Calm down, it's just a little pursepiration."""
Next Joke
"""Dad, what do you think about abortion?"" --Ask your sister --But I don't have a sis..."
"My Dad started singing these to me last night. Thought Reddit might appreciate them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmqP25iALtU"
"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year"
"lately my house has been a bit drafty... not because its' poorly insulated, but because my wife keeps bringing home marines..."
"*Reversing my car* Ahh, this takes me back."
"Why are there no gay men in the army reserves? All of the fruits are diploid"
"I tried to order a Vietnamese sandwich at a restaurant today while I was walking around topless... The staff refused to serve me, and threatened to bahn mi if I came in without a shirt again."
"There are two things that never work Month old condoms and voting for a third party. (That being said, I'm fucking terrified)"
"Ladies : Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ? Your dentist."