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Joke of the Day

"A taliban and his wife are getting ready to go to sleep at night... ...but before that, the taliban goes out to pee. He returns back all wet. ""Is it raining outside?"" ""No, it's windy..."""

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"What kind of CB Radio do seagulls use? Squawky-talkies!"
"What do bears and women from Arkansas have in common? They can't stop licking their paws."
"It's kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there."
"""Doctor, doctor! I need a new pair of glasses!"" ""I can see that - this is a hotdog stand."""
"Mcdonalds showing people doing yoga in their commercials is like George Bush having a library named after him."
"I used to watch 7th Heaven religiously"
"[first day as London tour guide] And over there is the Tower of [frantically flips through guide book for like 20 minutes] Eiffel."
"Why don't the other DC heroes like Nightwing? He's always being a dick to them."
"Did you recently date Taylor Swift, only to be dumped and have a song written about you? You may be entitled to compensation. Call now."