61548

Joke of the Day

"A baby crawls into a bar... He asks the bartender for a milk. The bartender says, ""I guess you want that in a bottle?"". The baby replies, ""What do you have on tit?"""

"""That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. I WILL BITE YOU!"" --Cats"

"Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful."

"New movie coming out about a golden retriever who helps a deaf boy. It's called ""Ear Bud."""

"""I can't believe you slept with her!"" ""Well, we were both drunk, and..."" ""But I thought you don't drink?"" ""It's true, but she was drunk enough for the both of us."""

"I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day. Abort* Sorry, I hate auto correct."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite drug? Cuckaine"

"What kind of birds do girls like? My-cawk!"

"I'm looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga"

"Do you know how to make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it"