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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how to make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it"

"News: Coleen Rooney has flown out to Brazil with her two sons to be with Wayne until England's World Cup campaign is over. That's nice bit far to go for a weekend though if you ask me."

"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

"I fucked this bitch the other night... The next day, she was starting to get overly attached and needy, so I asked my buddy for some advice. He said, ""Yeah man, golden retrievers can be like that."""

"What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair."

"Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species."

"Can you spell very happy with three letters? XTC (ecstasy)."

"hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please ""you mean a bloody mary"" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up"

"My mom wanted to send me to a program last summer for people with ADHD... It was called a Concentration Camp."

"How do you piss off an animal rights activist? You eat pita bread."