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Joke of the Day

"Asking me for advice is like asking broccoli to fix your bicycle."

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"Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad? I suppose it's pastable."
"What do you call orange juice that looks like apple juice, but tastes like orange juice? Juice Jenner. I'll be here all week"
"I hated the new X-men movie. Professor X was so lame."
"Can a blind person please rub their hands over their dog's nipples and tell me what it says?"
"I often antagonize black people in hopes they call me a jive turkey."
"Dark humor is like a kid with cancer..... It never gets old."
"Did you hear? Chuck Norris moved to Endor He became an Ewok'er Texas ranger."
"ALIEN: You Earthlings have many technological advances. How do you predict the weather? ME: We pull a rodent out of a box."
"What do you call the side door of a brothel in Westeros? Hodor"