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Joke of the Day

"Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad? I suppose it's pastable."

"Did you guys hear about Freddie Mercury's bedroom furniture store? Nothing Really Mattress. They only sell queen size."

"Whats the KKK's favorite type of cake? Sheet cake."

"Q: what is the scariest religion? A: boo-dism. Im kidding its all of them haha"

"What shoe size does a quadriplegic wear? 26"" rims"

"I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan."

"I'm not being creepy but i can see thru my binoculars that your family portrait is hanging crooked on your wall"

"If I find out who stole my copy of MS office, I'll kill you... You have my Word!"

"I found out my date likes to dissect people from Southeast Asia. I've since decided to cut Thais with her."

"I get erections are funerals. Guess you could say I have mourning wood."