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Joke of the Day
"I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday... Never again. Credit: Tim Vine."
Next Joke
"It's like my mother always told me, ""If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."" Then she said I looked fat."
"What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor."
"I got an e-mail saying At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought, ""That's just spam."""
"By telling the punchline first How do you fuck up a joke?"
"What's the difference between parsley.... and pussy? Nobody eats parsley anymore."
"""Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I'd check my watch but I can't take my eyes off you."""
"""Watch me smell my wine."" - white people"
"What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire? One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire."
"Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad? Because it's soda pressing."