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Joke of the Day

"Sitting while wearing shorts is a fun way to make your thighs look like they escaped sausage casing."

"That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends."

"Why was the black kid scared when he had diarrhea? He thought he was melting."

"What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm read for free"

"A Jewish girl says to her dad ""Dad, I need fifty dollars."" Her dad looks at her and says ""Forty dollars, what do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"Getting asked 'you want a fork' by a hot Chinese waitress is misleading as fork to my american ears"

"Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcvgsWkSY8"

"What is every Amish woman's dream? Two Mennonite."

"How do you get your girlfriend to stop giving you blowjobs? You marry her."

"Doctor: The tests came back. They don't look good. The tests: ok wow this is the kind of attitude that made us leave in the first place"