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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcvgsWkSY8"

"Why is Dave Mustaine described as ""heavy metal""? Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)"

"My friend always wanted to work in animation, but never got past the interview He just couldn't understand the difference between a professional ""colorist"" and a professional ""racist"""

"I saw Stevie Wonder in concert the other night He didn't see me though"

"Me: Pfft.. There is scientific evidence that a woman's brain is lighter than a man's. Her: Perhaps because it gets more exercise."

"For all you World of Tanks players: what does LTP stand for? LeichtTractor Premium"

"Obama ran around the whitehouse with Biden. Their total time was 9:48. When they had finished Biden said ""Hey Barack, did we beat the record?"" Out of breath Obama said ""No, Bush did 9:11"""

"The baby changing station in this Chili's bathroom is broken I put the old baby in there and when I opened it back up it was the same one"

"2016 is on such a high kill streak I'm worried for when it's going to unlock nukes"

"When I was a kid, my grandfather told me his teeth are like the stars... ...they come out at night."