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Joke of the Day

"Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day."

"*Goes to the store* *Buys donughts, doughnut holes, and glue*"

"What do you call a drink with problems? Dilemmanade"

"What do you call someone who only speaks one language? American."

"dont tell the delivery guy you're gonna Fuck the pizza. Don't tell delivery guy You're gonna fuck the Pizza ""Thank you i intend to Fu"

"Sandwich walk into a bar/ The bartender said, sorry, we don't serve food."

"What did the black Jew say to the non-believers? We Israel.."

"The first 2 slices of pizza cure depression and the last 14 bring it right back."

"If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it. I'll call it ""Weekend at Bernie's"""

"Finished my first short film. It's a horror/drama that will scare and make you weep. It's basically just footage of me naked."