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Joke of the Day

"Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too."

"I went to an Anti- Abortion rally... Their slogan was ""our movement is unstoppable, they will never defetus"""

"How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry."

"Q: Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? A: He wanted to see stars during the day."

"Do you know why Santa only work on the 25th of December? Because he knows where all the bad girls are...(sorry)"

"American light beers are like having sex on a canoe... Its fucking close to water"

"What type of overalls did Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"Tower: Hawk 20 is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ? Pilot: Negativ Sir. It's only the same pilot."

"How did the mathematician solve his problem with constipation? He worked it out with a pencil"