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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why Santa only work on the 25th of December? Because he knows where all the bad girls are...(sorry)"

"I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't."

"What do you call a chilly office? A cubicicle"

"me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*"

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven."

"I got mugged yesterday... The mugger said, ""Give me your money or you're science."" I said, ""Don't you mean history?"" He said, ""Don't try and change the subject."""

"A wife is like a boomerang the harder you throw the faster she comes back."

"What is a person with epilepsy's favourite salad? Chicken Seizure Salad."

"What do you call a shity poet? A poo'et"

"If I had a talking shark for a sidekick, I'd probably get into more deep sea shenanigans."