192839

Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? A: He wanted to see stars during the day."

"If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up."

"[NSFW] Next time you're constipated, just watch Fox News or CNN. They bother the shit out of everyone."

"Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back."

"My girlfriend was really excited about squishing a spider.. I told her she was turning into a cold blooded killer.."

"What is the difference between Hitler and Seabiscuit? Seabiscuit could finish a race."

"The first rule of Alzheimer's club, Is don't talk about Chess club."

"Q)What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative? A) NapKin"

"Aaron Hernandez He used to be a tight end, but prison will turn him into a wide receiver. ;)"

"why were the rappers late for their flight? they forgot tupac"