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Joke of the Day

"Mary was in the prophet making business"

"Hillary should make Bernie the ambassador to Japan. His knowledge of harpooning whales will definitely help bridge the cultural divide."

"The deeper the pit you're falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly."

"I've had rain boots sitting in my dorm since college started. I never thought I'd need them. As it turns out, these boots are made for Joaquin."

"There is a new rapper who is rapping for feminism. People call him feminem"

"Man next to to me just said into his phone ""You caught me in the middle of a sandwich."" He's lying. He is not in a sandwich."

"What do you call a hobo with an afro? A frobo."

"I was on the bus with my gf and this smoking hot Thai chick sat next to me. I thought ""don't get a boner, don't get a boner."" But she did."

"Two nuns are riding their bikes down a Paris street.. One looks to the other and says ""You know, I've never come this way before."" The second replies, ""Must be the cobblestones."""

"Got a pretty bad burn on my arm. I was putting a pie in the oven & my dad came up behind me & put a cigarette out on my arm."