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Joke of the Day

"The constant challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone."

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"Having a bit of a lazy day... sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss doesn't look amused"

"I'm drunk & I want a TV Special called ""Wizard Fight"" where David Copperfield, David Blaine and Cris Angel try to make each other disappear."

"Why do dogs chase cats? To get dat pussy. . . . . . . I'll show myself the door."

"Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris? Depends on who wrote the script."

"Oops! I left the curtains open. Now my neighbors know what my junk looks like pressed up against the window with a flashlight aimed at it."

"-What's your zodiac sign? -Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real."

"What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker? Urine for a treat!"

"If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?"