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Joke of the Day

"The constant challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone."

"Watching TV today I saw a struggling actress I used to know had landed a job in a bra commercial. Nice to see her supporting herself."

"What's the similarity between communism and a pencil? They both only really work on paper"

"Yo Mama so fat... Yo Mama so fat , you can see what's behind her !"

"A computer once beat me at chess... ...but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"My dad has the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"How do you get Jizz off of a Scrabble board? Don't bother. That shit's worth 29 points."

"A protected acct with 0 followers just followed me. Mom, is that you?"

"A horse walks into a police station Policeman says ""Why the long face?"" Horse replies ""I've just witnessed a murder"" [True story](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834)"

"""Mounting debt"" sounds way sexier than it is."