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Joke of the Day
"What's the similarity between communism and a pencil? They both only really work on paper"
Next Joke
"I love timelines that are 100% unanswered tweets @ celebrities. It's like reading letters to Santa."
"I never text and drive bc that would imply that I actually go places."
"A blind man walks into a bar... Table and a chair."
"Yo momma is so fat and old... When she farted it created the universe"
"Do you like tapes and CDs? (Only open if yes) (or not I don't Carr) Yea? Tape this dick to your forehead so you can CDs nuts"
"He told me he wanted a dirty girl so I didn't shower for two weeks. Now he won't return my calls. Forget women, MEN and their mixed signals!"
"What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical? plague-arism"
"There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted."
"What did the gynecologist say to his sedated patient? I don't know, his voice was muffled."