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Joke of the Day

"I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their shit together."

"Why do gorillas have big nostrils? ... Because they got big fingers."

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells"

"I'm an 8 day old fetus And I believe music from the olden days is better than today's shit."

"I stretch daily to squeeze the demons out of my blood. It's the only way I know how to exorcise."

"Him: Favorite workout? Me: Pilates. Him: Why? Me: Because we lay down for an hour."

"Two Nuns walking down the street...when a streaker.. Two Nuns walking down the street... when a streaker runs past, one of them had a stroke..........the other couldn't reach..."

"What do you call water that hasn't been changed? Still, water."

"Cow Joke What do cows watch in the theaters? moovie"

"What's the most annoying thing on /r/jokes? People who post the joke intro twice."