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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me how I became so confident, I told him I play Russian roulette every morning... RIP Larry."

Next Joke
 
"A daughter asked her mother, ""Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'? Her mom replied, ""Honey, you should have asked me last nightit was on the tip of my tongue."""
"What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court? Bay leaf get him out if here!"
"You and Me = Grand Unification"
"There are two types of people in this world... those who like closure"
"So Kim Jong Un helps a little girl's starving family Oops I put the punchline in the title"
"I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended."
"[10 mins into couples therapy] Therapist: I cannot help you two. Me: Let's go, Betsy! See! She doesn't listen! T: GET YOUR DOG OFF MY COUCH!"
"Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are."
"Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver"