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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me how I became so confident, I told him I play Russian roulette every morning... RIP Larry."

"Masking tape never makes a very realistic mask."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's not enough to change the bulb; we have to change the *system*."

"What's the difference between a crab with a boob job and a dirty bus station? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station."

"How did the girlfriend satisfy her secretly gay boyfriend? I don't know, I guess she really had him pegged."

"Toy Story 5: Jason Statham must deliver the last iPad to Uganda, in a prius, and he has to drift the entire trip or the car will explode"

"There's a lot of mountains high enough to keep me away from you. You see that Everest mountain? Ain't no way I'm climbing that for you."

"People that still call into radio stations are probably doing it from house phones."

"If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?"

"What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini!"