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Joke of the Day

"A daughter asked her mother, ""Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'? Her mom replied, ""Honey, you should have asked me last nightit was on the tip of my tongue."""

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"Why wouldn't they let Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman"
"There are three unwritten laws of life... 1. 2. 3."
"what did they start calling the timelord after he started frequenting one too many prostitutes? doctor whore"
"What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson? The crime rate."
"Shout out to political bumper stickers, changing nobody's mind and lowering the value of your car and whatnot."
"The older I get, the farther apart I spread my feet when I use a urinal. Soon, I will be doing a Jean-Claude Van Damme split when I piss."
"So Hillary Clinton recently said half of Tump's supporters are a ""Basket of deplorables"". Next Trump will respond saying: ""Half of Hillary's supporters are deportables"""
"I ""accidentally"" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident"
"*time travels an infinite number of times to stop myself from eating the pizza but every time, future me just joins past me in eating it*"