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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world... those who like closure"

"What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder disaster."

"I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist"

"How does a Reaver clean his spear? He puts it in the Wash."

"I may not be able to use by the ""N"" word... But at least I can say things like ""Hey Dad"", and ""Thanks for the warning Officer!""."

"[Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast"

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor"

"What type of rock is this Holmes? It's sedimentary my dear Watson!"

"I illegally watched Hang Over Part 3 online and I still feel like I got ripped off."

"Sexy is when a woman is hot enough to flaunt it but chooses not to."