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Joke of the Day

"16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again."

"my career as a Walmart greeter was cut short when the manager noticed me singing ""Welcome to the Jungle"" to every customer"

"*looking under hood of car* ""Well there's your problem"" *removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*"

"What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris? Free Shots"

"just so you know the guacamole costs an extra $1.80 plus one of your arms and the soul of your first born child thanks for choosing chipotle"

"Why doesn't Barbie have kids? Cause Ken cums in another box..."

"Which dinosaur named all the others? The Thesaurus"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seat belt."

"""Just this one more episode."" you said, and all the voices in your head laughed and laughed, and slapped their knees."

"Obama's reaction to NSA scandal ""This technology means spies will never have to use windows ever again."""