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Joke of the Day

"clock always late The woman says to the husband: Dear, today the clock fell from the wall of the room and i left that place just 5 seconds ago. Husband : Damn clock,Always late..."

"Whats the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks."

"HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*"

"No toilet paper. My training kicks in. I barrel roll under the stall & onto the lap of the person in the next stall. I did not plan for this"

"What breed of dog loves to take a bath? A shampoodle"

"I like my women like I like my cars Fast, loud, and used. Off craigslist."

"Just got back from Sam's Club - got a great new electric piano, 19 pack of BBQ lighters, and a impulse kayak - fuck forgot milk"

"What's the difference between Trump and a bucket of shit I don't have a shit bucket in my garage"

"Last night I found out you can make a lot of people REALLY angry if you dress in a Star Trek costume and also carry a light saber"

"The UK's economy. That's the joke."