51931

Joke of the Day

"The UK's economy. That's the joke."

"What was wrong with Han Solo's ""Hanburgers""? They were really Chewie!"

"What's the difference between my girlfriend and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when I smack it"

"Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*"

"Since we're doing jokes in bad taste... What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."

"DOCTOR: studies show that social media use reduces attention span ME: that's hard to believe DOCTOR: are you checking your phone? ME: what?"

"Why couldn't the dimwit read more than one sentence? There was a full stop"

"This little piggy went to the market This little piggy stayed home This little piggy spread a swine flu virus And killed 250 million people"

"My car was like ""change my oil"" & I was like ""change it yourself, stupid"" & it was like ""I can't, I'm an inanimate object"" & then we laughed"

"When people tell me, ""It's easy as Pi"" I tell them that they're being irrational"