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Joke of the Day

"HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*"

"All the while you have been waiting for 2016.. and suddenly comes 2015S :D"

"Confidence A driverless car company announced that they will not sell their product to people who have less than five years' driving experience."

"Safe words are for quitters."

"Doc, for all the good that suppository did me... I could have shoved it up my ass!"

"What's the oldest trick in the book? Trick #1, duh. It's at the beginning of the contents."

"Justin Bieber has grown a mustache. His transformation into a teenage mexican girl is now complete."

"What does a black man do when faced with the death penalty? Nigga pleads."

"Don't let your dreams be dreams! -Plato, in discussion on , the Greek goddess of victory"

"I can't believe I have to recharge my stupid phone every night or it shuts down *sleeps for 8 hours every night*"