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Joke of the Day

"HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*"

"Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne? *Acne waits until you're a teen to come on your face* ^^^^^^^^^^edit^^^^^^^^^^, ^^^^^^^^^^grammar"

"Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto"

"What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark!"

"My friend told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com? Yes but I found it very difficult to get into."

"My brother used to think the suicide lane is for committing suicide. He only made the mistake once though"

"What kind of bird flies around bays? Bagles"

"A man was walking his dog through a graveyard... when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone. ""Morning!"", he says. The other man replies, ""Nope, just taking a shit."""

"my girlfriend must feel the same way about pizza as she feels about sex. if she has it one night, she won't want it again for a few weeks."