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Joke of the Day

"About delete my Facebook account, I hope Stacey and Heather from the 3rd grade can handle the rejection."

"I tried to buy some camouflage pants the other day... But, I couldn't find any."

"Come on Fred I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me let them come and get me!"

"DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny."

"How long does it take to eat a tire? *A Goodyear*"

"I have to say to you something... something."

"A good listener always watches you speak, makes eye contact and never lets on he's thinking about something else."

"Hey Kevin, why do you like fungi on your pizza? Cause I'm a vegetarian."

"Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you? He might Pikachu."

"To commemorate the day. Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You were supposed to never forget."