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Joke of the Day
"I have to say to you something... something."
Next Joke
"My uncle always believed that ""Between duct tape and WD-40 you can fix just about anything."" I still can't believe it took seven years before he lost his medical license."
"What's Gollum's favourite food? Scallops, scallops!"
"This just popped in my head... What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie? Mow lawn. Sorry."
"The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, ""uno, dos..."" *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres."
"My son's taking French and my daughter is learning sign language and now I have no idea what anyone's talking about anymore."
"dad: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN son: HI VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN IM GREG dad: omg [sheds a tear]"
"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."
"In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can."
"Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research."