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Joke of the Day

"To commemorate the day. Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You were supposed to never forget."

"My dad caught me masturbating the other day. He said ""son, you'll go blind"" I said ""dad, I'm over here"""

"Why are there fences around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!"

"Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that."

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra? Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!"

"What are the worst three words you could hear when you're in the middle of some passionate love making? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"Human history is so awful, I think I'm just gonna teach my son the timeline of Star Trek off of Wikipedia and call it a day."

"Sean Spicer getting very upset with the media for not reporting that Trump put up a 28/13/11 triple double against the Rockets yesterday."

"Grandma keeps staring longingly through the window since it started snowing... ...Maybe It's time to let her back inside."

"It's bad enough when the little voices in my head talk to me. But now they are texting."