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Joke of the Day

"Daughter: dad Im a lesbian Dad: Okay its cool 2nd daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too Dad: Does ANYone in this family like guys? Son: I do"

"My sister's zodiac sign was cancer, which is really ironic to how she died She got squashed by a giant fucking crab"

"Yo moma so old... in her history class, they just wrote down what they was doing!"

"Why doesn't Superman need a boss? (OC) He already has supervision."

"Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally.... So I was like na, more like pirate and booty."

"It's as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before."

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"*leaves the kids w/ a new babysitter *calls to check on the sitter"

"I used to be a fan but now I'm an air conditioner."

"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"