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Joke of the Day

"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"

"First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."

"I swear if I see one more tweet about 11/11/11 being once in A life time I will snap. Every date is once in a life time! That how time works"

"My wife just told me she's leaving me if I don't stop drinking I told her "" Come on honey just one more drink, and I will help you pack!"

"I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like ""good luck guys"" and walked away. I'd be a great mother."

"Jaime Lannister Is Officially Known As The ""KingSlayer"" And Unofficially known as the ""QueenLayer"""

"If a duckling is a baby duck, I don't want to eat dumplings."

"What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti? A Pastatute"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or they're going to think we're nuts!"

"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in five years time... It makes me think of a time I won't be able to repost this fucking joke. Fuck 20/20 vision."