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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide."

"A mime that texts LOL is dishonest."

"My ex girlfriend had huge tits Ahh such good mammaries"

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"I'm always right about things... Could you say I have a correctile dysfunction?"

"""You'll have more fun in high school, Zach.""nn""You'll have more fun in college, Zach.""nn""You'll have more fun in Hell, Zach."""

"If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"Friend at Memorial Day BBQ: I see you wasted no time with the white pants. Me: These are my legs."

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."