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Joke of the Day

"*Chooses paper towels instead of the hand dryer right as a tree walks into the bathroom*"

"When is a door not a door? How the hell is ajar supposed to work with this? Adoor and ajar? 'Cuse me?"

"It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas and Steve. Get out of here Steve."

"What do you call a plane on a secret mission? In disguise."

"What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick? Nah brah, tadah brah!"

"The three biggest lies in Wyoming... ""I won this belt buckle in a rodeo, my trucks paid for and I was just helping that sheep over the fence."""

"Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them."

"How many calories does the average ejaculated semen has? Apparently not enough to keep my baby alive"

"Just saw a license plate that said ""LUV SLUG."" I hope it shrivels up when they salt the roads in the winter."

"Virgin Airlines should just be itself. It'll happen eventually."