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Joke of the Day

"Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door... ...but his girlfriend was against it."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls!"

"Nice guys don't finish last.. They finish alone in the shower."

"(Warning, this is worse than those laffy-taffy jokes) Why don't engineers have sex with much frequency? Because it hertz!"

"Remember when you first joined twitter and you had no idea how to RT or what favstar was and remembered what your family looked like?"

"How do you make a blind moan? Kick him in the balls"

"How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it."

"Back when I was a kid we stared at the wall when we took a shit and we liked it!"

"A man walks into a bar with an apple on his head, and the bartender asks ""Why do you have a pear on your head?"" He replies, ""It's not a peach, it's a plum!"""

"Ancient guys used to invent good stuff because they never had to untangle their headphones seventy three times every day."