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Joke of the Day

"I don't throw anything out anymore I just go to TGIFriday's once a month and glue more shit to the wall no one notices try it"

"[museum tour in the future] Racism and sexism ended in the 21st century, when brave Americans argued it out of existence online"

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay Sounds suuuuuuper fun if you don't happen to know what either of they things are."

"911 What's your emergency Me: I'm calling to complain about the quality of this cocaine 911: The police are on their way Me: Thanks"

"*termites on date* Waiter: what would you like to order, sir? Termite: table for two."

"Oral relief 'Darling, I want some.... Oral relief.' 'You mean you want a blowjob?' 'No, I just want you to shut up.'"

"Testing new mobile phone Hello, i don't know if anyone is going to read this because i am using the internet explorer. But still i wanna wish you a good start in the new year 2010."

"I've slept with a series of triplets i called it a waltz"

"Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see."

"Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks."