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Joke of the Day

"You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive."

"Wife : don't forget to pick up the kids at the school Me : why"

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto!"

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."

"Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians? Because they all live in de-nile..."

"I often wonder how different it would be if I were to go back to grade school Not so much with the knowledge I have now, but with the penis I have now"

"I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web... Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!"

"It's the year 2354, the world is now like that futuristic Bruce Willis movie. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other one. No,"

"A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm. So he asks him, ""you shearing?"" The other answers ""nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."""

"What is the same betweem long distance track and school Your going nowhere and your doing it slowly"