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Joke of the Day

"Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians? Because they all live in de-nile..."

"Why don't you ever see rich people wearing glasses? They're always around so many karats."

"Some people are so obnoxiously stupid all that comes to mind while listening to them is WHAT IS IT LIKE TO CONTINUOUSLY SUCK DONKEY DICKS?!"

"My dog took his raw food upstairs and ate it in my bed. How's your night going?"

"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck... Bar tender looks at him and says, ""I guess I'll let you hang out but you better not start anything."""

"If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, ""aww."""

"What do you call a chicken surrounded by men? A buk-buk-BUKKAKE!"

"Shout out to the ampersand for always being willing to stand in the gap & help make our tweets complete by giving back those extra two lette"

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, ""Have you taken a bath?"" The other replies: ""No. Is one missing?"" From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious*"