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Joke of the Day

"A young boy died after having sex with his teacher... His friends high fived him to death. Zak galifinakorishdjignko"

"What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ? I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it !"

"[dog paws your leg when you stop stroking his head] 1st time: ""aww cuuuute"" 2nd time: ""ha okay"" 3rd time: ""i am trapped in a nightmare"""

"Why were the Indians the first ones here? Because they had reservations."

"What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady? But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?"

"16 sodiums walk into a bar followed by Bruce Wayne Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN! Edit: added two na"

"When is a Jewish fetus considered a human being? When it graduates from medical school"

"mom: who's your background? me: my boyfriend mom: can i meet him? me: not before i do mom: what? me: what?"

"Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food? Because it just makes me falafel."

"I'm not saying I hate you... but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."