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Joke of the Day

"Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food? Because it just makes me falafel."

"I heard Target is closing all its stores in Canada I guess you can say nobody will miss it"

"I have a friend named ""Chris Hoffman"" I asked him to name his son Jack."

"If you think the USA can shoot down nuclear missiles fired by North Korea just remember we couldn't even have lights at the Super Bowl."

"[LPT] How to enable site-wide flair! * Log out of Reddit * Click Register * Enter your flair in the ""username"" section * Complete the registration! You're even given an additional Karma Point!TM"

"If I was in charge of SWAT I'd change the name to the ""Special Weapons And Grenades"" team just so police would have to radio in for SWAG"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then? Well I saw this light at the window...!"

"Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!"

"The nice thing about being a pessimist is that in the end you are either pleasantly surprised or you have the satisfaction of knowing you were right all along."

"Wife: I just wanted our honeymoon to be special. Me holding 2 Nintendo64 controllers: Me too, but you need to hurry and pick a character."