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Joke of the Day

"mom: who's your background? me: my boyfriend mom: can i meet him? me: not before i do mom: what? me: what?"

"Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses ""windows""."

"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."

"How many PETA members does it take to change light bulb? none, PETA can't change anything."

"What is hillybillys fantasy?! S&M . . . . .. Sister and Mother."

"I hate it when people think I'm dumb. I follow current events. Like the World Cup, for instance. I'm totally rooting for Vuvuzela."

"What is a police called on her period? red bull"

"What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train the other trains the mind."

"Me: You should be nicer to me. You'll never have another dad. 5-year-old: Don't be so sure. Mom is pretty."

"I love buying cardboard boxes online. You always get one more than you pay for."