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Joke of the Day

"I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying."

"MARRIAGE PROTIP - Guys, if you have a picture of your junk on your phone, you better be sure your wife has a copy of it on hers. Good talk."

"When someone says ""sorry it's so messy in here"" regarding their mostly clean car I laugh so loud I cough up several pieces of trash"

"Your Mother is like Communism... Shared by everyone."

"Not only do I have bad short-term memory... but also I have bad short-term memory."

"Cool prank: Gradually remove a little bit of your mom's arm bones each night in her sleep until her arms are just totally floppy"

"What do Ken Jennings and OJ Simpson have in common? they both killed at double jeopardy!"

"The best time to reevaluate your life is when the online video you're watching is buffering"

"""You are what you eat"" [Eats a confident person] Now we wait..."