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Joke of the Day

"White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do. We do it in schools, because we have class."

Next Joke
 
"""Here's what I would do..."" - me, giving bad advice"
"I could be an Olympics commentator because I'm good at pointing and saying, ""You can tell she wants it."""
"How to open new toy: 1. Cut tape with machete. 2. Take shot. 3. Undo 23,518 twist ties. 4. Take 3 shots. 5. Watch child play with box."
"On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?"
"If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa."
"So weird that before we invented cars, if you hated someone you keyed their horse."
"A man flashed three old women in the park. The first two women each had a stroke! The third woman tried, but she couldn't reach because her arms were too short."
"Cats don't come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can't put them in the washing machine."
"Also, kids? Don't DM us pretending you are some school official cancelling school. Closings don't work like that. & we're not that dumb."