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Joke of the Day

"So weird that before we invented cars, if you hated someone you keyed their horse."

"I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband."

"Roses are red Violets are blue Who shit in my garden?"

"I just got a bunch of cool apps and games for my Windows Phone"

"I don't care if you stop reading after 80 characters. I'm using all 140, even if what I say makes no sense at all. Oh also, your mom's a who"

"Hitman: Hey what's up Me: My neighbor parked in front of my house again"

"I'm always surprised how quickly ""you're so funny"" turns into ""everything is a fcuking joke to you."" (usually about 3 months)"

"There are only 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone."

"Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."