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Joke of the Day
"I know pretty well how batteries must feel I'm rarely ever included in things either."
Next Joke
"Sorry I yelled, ""Sweep the leg!"" when you got down on one knee to propose to your girlfriend. But I stand by my advice."
"How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt"
"I went to the School of Engineering formal this weekend. Walked up to a girl... ""Are you a civil engineer... cause DAM GIRL!"" she went home with me..."
"Religion is like a penis It's perfectly acceptable to have one, but unacceptable to flaunt yours in public."
"What do you call a gay man from the deep South a Homo-sex-y'all"
"Bae: come over. Me: Can't. I've to finish posting this joke. Bae: My parents aren't home."
"I just found out that his full name is actually....Vehicle Identification Number Diesel."
"I was going to buy some classical music CDs... But I was too baroque."
"*eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!"