179769

Joke of the Day

"What song title defines a redditor's love life? ""Left Hand Free"" By alt-J"

"So then I said, ""Spit on it first, then see if it'll fit."" ...And that's why my wife no longer allows me to help our son with puzzles."

"I've got a plan to get rid of the dollar Honestly, it makes a lot of cents"

"I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win. But, no pun in ten did."

"Damn, ref. Is your phone on vibrate? Because you sure as hell missed that pass interference call on Sherman!"

"Why isnt Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary? The last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Plot twist: Everybody shoots Cupid with an arrow."

"The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels."

"There is this guy that hates taking a poop. But shit happens."

"Someone told me it was important to have relationships with positive people. Now I have AIDS"