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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a university math professor and a high school math teacher get it on? Calculust"

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"You cant run through a campground .. You can only ran ... because it's past tents."
"My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink."
"You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two."
"""Ladies, calm down. Girlfriend, wife, whatever. The important thing is that between the 2 of you, you brought enough to post my bail"""
"Can't remember the name of that 80's song, huh? You might have Wham!nesia..."
"""Your honor-"" No objections. how do you plead to cheating at heads up seven up? ""guilty"" no juice boxes for a week..piece of shit *mom sobs*"
"Everyone stop over reacting! There was no Earthquake.... I slipped in the shower, these things happen..."
"What do you call a mean dust storm? Darude - Sandstorm"
"My mate Dave is living the dream. He's in a coma..."