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Joke of the Day

"Hey ladies, if you don't want me staring at your tattoos, maybe you should lock your front door before showering."

"What's the fastest drink in the world ? Sonic the eggnog."

"A customer was buying condoms at work today. I asked if he'd like a bag. ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you hear Juan you've heard Jamal."

"Spell check changed ""important"" to ""impotent"" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up."

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? Milk and Surreal."

"What do you call a very smart glass of lemonade that is gay? A homo-genius mixture"

"billy joel: we didn't start the fire detective: I haven't mentioned a fire billy joel: shit"

"If you are bored I recommend mass texting all of your exes ""I'm ready to give it another shot"" and then get ready for the ride of your life"

"I was in a nightclub grinding on a girl. When someone said, ""What the fuck are you doing with that skateboard?"""