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Joke of the Day

"If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I'd compete in it later."

"What do dogs have that no other animal has ? Puppy dogs !"

"I went to a zoo and there was only one animal... It was a 'Shih Tzu'"

"Being old is like being in prison... It hurts to bend over."

"Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What's important is that you're rich & you have a giant castle"

"If you sit beside me, you're part of my drumkit."

"Those novelty New Years glasses look so stupid. So I wear glasses that say ""Yesterday"" because it makes me wise beyond my years."

"My dad got fired for having sex with one of his patients the other day. Which is a shame because he was a really good vet."

"If Caitlyn Jenner was a super hero, what team would she be in? The X-Men"

"I have a buddy that likes to have sex with inanimate objects. We don't hang out much. He's always got stuff to do."