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Joke of the Day

"[Twister] DOG 1: left paw green DOG 2: i told u this was a terrible idea DOG 1: cmon Jim just pick the green one DOG 2: THEYRE ALL GREY GARY"

"What did the salad say before being eaten Lettuce go."

"What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody's gettin' ready for the world's end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?"

"I'd get in the back of their van if they told me they had a phone charger in it."

"I'm not saying I hate you... but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

"I know 5 people who are clinically insane I'm two of them..."

"If there is no emoji to express the emotion, does the emotion really exist?"

"Did you know that Davy Crockett had three ears? His left ear, his right ear, and his wild frontier."

"Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls."