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Joke of the Day

"Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls."

"How are a punchline and a dick similar? they only bring a smile if used properly."

"i just read this article...did you know 50% of asian business men have cataracts... the other half drive rincoln towncars"

"3 cows are standing in a field Cow 1: did you hear the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow"

"Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight."

"I'm finishing off this bottle of wine because you never know when an asteroid is gonna hit and I'd hate to waste the $6.49 I spent on it."

"I think I'll test to see if my husband is checking my browser history by searching ""How to tell if your baby is black in the womb."""

"You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter"

"It sucks to be a dick.. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven was a registered six offender"