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Joke of the Day
"If there is no emoji to express the emotion, does the emotion really exist?"
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"Where will you never find a hipster fish? The mainstream"
"What do you call an Irish lesbian? GayLick"
"Why don't Muslims fight each other often? Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now"
"Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on."
"I gotta stop living every day like it could be my last. The hangovers are killing me..."
"Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life."
"""It's not what it looks like,"" I say to the bunny noticing my slippers."
"Tried to take my girlfriend to get a physical.... ...they kept turning me away saying ""sir, this is a palm reader"""
"I can't afford Ugg boots, so I just never shave below the knee to create the illusion that I'm wearing them."